Google Launches Google Brainwords Beta

BrainwordsMOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – April 1, 2007 – Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced Google Brainwords, a new addition to its contextual search advertising network.

Currently the program is in beta, and was recently approved by the FDA for use by humans. Recent monkey tests showed a 98% survival rate and banana sale conversion increases of up to 10%.

Google Brainwords screenshot below:

Google Brainwords

Google Brainwords works by implanting a minimally invasive Google Brainwords chip in the searcher’s retina. After a few weeks recovery the customer begins seeing contextually relevant ads according to the images received by the brain. They can also beam images directly to their Google Life account.

At a recent press conference Larry Page touted the benefits of this new contextual advertising system by saying, “We are the first company to effectively convert eyeballs to sales.” When asked about privacy issues, he scoffed and added, “We have a system that detects brainfraud – publishers have nothing to worry about as long as they are not violating the Google Thought Guidelines, which are of course proprietary.”

MSN’s competing product, dubbed Live Eyeball 2007, Home Edition has received much less enthusiasm, mostly due to DRM conflict issues with its previous “Plays For Sure” DRM Live Ear software.