22 Sure-Fire Ways to Increase Your Class Size and Land More Tenure

p.s. I am crazyDo you make the same common mistakes when naming college courses as most other loser professors? Do you want to bait more students with catchy course names? The secret of college course naming conventions are finally revealed thanks to the headline formulas of Neil and Brian Clark. Now you can write great class names and land even more tenure like a pro.

Here is a list of UF honors college courses that could be sexier if only they were written with class-bait in mind:

Principles of Food and Resource Economics
Now You Can Eat Healthy and Save Even More Money

Biology and Natural History of Fireflies
How to Catch Fireflies – The Ultimate Guide

One-Semester Organic Chemistry
Give me One Semester – And I’ll Make You a Better Organic Chemist

Athenian Democracy
Build a Democrazy You can Be Proud Of

Introduction to Forensic Science
Identify a Body Like a Real CSI Miami Detective

Pop Music and Cultural Perspectives
What Everybody Ought to Know About N’Sync

Spirituality and the Health Sciences
The Secret of Spiritual Meditation

The “Hot Zone:” Biology, Society and American Popular Culture
Here is a Method That is Helping Students Avoid the Bird Flu

American Cultures: Constructing the American Nation
Do You Recognize the 7 Early Warning Signs of a Theocracy?

Social Movements: Organizing to Change the World
Here’s a Quick Way to Organize a Sit-In

Contemporary Issues in US National Security Policy
How-to Improve Your Border Security through 3 Easy Steps

Contemporary Moral Issues in Biotechnology and Regenerative Medicine
Little Known Ways to Regrow Your Ears

Engineering and Astronomy of the Ancients
The Lazy Roman’s Way to Reading the Stars

Globalization, Civil Society, NGOs and Grassroots Development in Central America
If You Don’t Globalize Now, You’ll Hate Yourself Later

Jesus and Judaism in Historical Fiction
The Son of God Approach to Curing Leprosy

Contemporary Issues in US National Security Policy
Bush Goes to an All Time Low by Increasing Troop Levels

Staging Three Fantastic Playwrights
See How Easily You Can Stage Hamlet

Calculus II
Get Rid of Pesky Integrals Once and For All

Intensive Beginning Russian 2
You Don’t Have to be a Communist to Talk Like a Russian

Honors Poetry Workshop
Do You Make These Metaphor Mistakes In Your Alliteration?